Here we are with one question whose answer is untraceable, with one feeling that’s not leaving us, with one emotion that is burning us from inside, with one goal that looks far away. But the answer can be found, the feeling can be eliminated, the emotion can be frosted. The Goal can be Achieved. Breakup is one of the most common feelings or a phase that people from any strata of life might have gone through. Love is an immortal power but breakups are an immeasurable pain which pierces the core of our mental well being and can insurge a never ending sad ballad into our lives. But as with every other problem in this world, a breakup is also solvable. However, this solution takes a series of steps—self assurance, therapies, activities and above all, a life altering experience that enriches you and can make you the best version of yourselves.
i) Breakup and its Occurrence
When you realize that you and your significant other are unable to lead a life together and are on the brink of separation, a breakup seems inevitable. Any relationship takes two people to be prosperous and content. If any one of the partners is not happy in the relationship, it’s better to either resolve those differences with a virtuous conversation or cordially part away with a heartfelt separation. It may be hard but if you see no future in your relationship, it’s better to take a moral ground and gather your guts and with a heavy heart, bid that goodbye.
ii) Give Time to Yourself
When you realize “it’s over”, remember that it is the relationship that’s over, not the life that you are living and the world that is thriving. What changes is your internal ability to process your decisions and choices that affect your life? At this juncture, which might seem like searching for water in a desert, what you can do is to focus on yourself. Take a break. Give them time to regain your senses. Make sure your mind is at peace. There might be thousands of sharp-edged thoughts that crumble your process but what can divert them is your sense of calm and peace. With a concentrated mind, you can stop your internal war of contemplation. By doing this, you can achieve a nirvana state where you can control your thoughts and can make stable decisions.
iii) Engage with Your Surroundings
Having to separate from a person whom you have imagined a great life with is always tough, hard, and very challenging. But no superpower in the world can keep two people together who are not in love with each other. So whatever was the reason that didn’t keep you together, the immediate after-effect will definitely keep your heart in turbulence. To balance out that turbulence, the best thing to do is to know that the people around you are still with you and will be there for you. These people may include your family, friends, colleagues, your favourite cousin or a therapist. Talking and engaging with your surroundings makes you realize that life has much more to offer than what you have been offered. There is no shame in asking for help to the people who always wish well for you. Consulting a therapist does no harm to you and your life. If you are too cynical to do that, then have a chat with your college senior or an elder person in your family whom you trust. They will guide you and will give you much-needed perception in life.
iv) Being Mentally Stable
The most important thing that happens to you when you are in the voyage of an emotional trauma is, the instability of your mind and its working. To be mentally stable and emotionally powerful, you need to regroup your strong abilities to sustain a roller coaster ride that comes ahead of you. To do that, you have to go to the basics: start thinking about your life from the moment you remember. What made you feel good, what made you curious about life, what made you jump like a little kid. Gather those sweet little things and embrace them. Start reading that book which you might have left unfinished, start watching your all time favorite movie/show again, start playing the game that you have lost touch with. All these activities will bring you a great deal of self-assurance and will make you love yourself and believe in yourself. You can start to travel to the places that you always liked to go but couldn’t or you can visit your favourite place to cherish those memorable moments you created for yourself. Travel makes you meet new people and will bring new perspectives in life which may alter your thinking and can change your way of life for good and can remove the trauma.
v) A New start
Any experience in life will always give you a perspective through which your process of thinking and ability to observe the world changes. Even a breakup does the same thing but it depends on the individuals and their way of interpreting that experience and using it for their own growth and development. The pain, the trauma, the sleepless nights and the hopeless times might tone down your potential of leading a life but with an attitude that never loses hope and with a never ever give up mentality, you will emerge as a phoenix and unleash a new beginning that’s full of Surprises and Success.
About the author
Abhinav has finished his graduation in Civil Engineering only to realise that writing is also as analytical as Structural Analysis. From finding hidden references in movies to writing them in his stories, which may one day triumph as Gandalf in Lord of the Rings, he is all about the culture of Pop Culture. He considers music as therapy and storytelling as catharsis. You can write to Abhinav at his email address: abhinavsriramoju@gmail.com